Talking with Mae

 

Entering the room with her hands up.

Mae:  F…B…I!

Mommy:  (blinks)

Mae:  You go to jail.  (As she pulls my hands behind my back and tries to pull me to her bedroom)

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Mae:  (finger stuck up her nose and digging around with a very serious look on her face)

Mommy:  Are you okay?  Did you get it?

Mae: Yes….It looks like chicken.

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As a group of Daddy’s friends left the house a couple of evenings ago.

Mae:  Bye, Dudes!

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Out of the blue..

Mae:  I want to have baby when I grow big.  I will cuddle her.

Mommy:  (cue the tears)

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Something she picked up from her cousin and we hear it often…….

Mae:  Mommy!  I just need you.

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While making the second trip to the potty after bedtime.

Mommy:  Do you really have to potty, or are you faking?

Mae:  Shhhhhh!  I am sleepwalking.

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Talking with Mae

Mommy: Will you please eat another bite of your dinner?
Mae: (shakes her head)
Mommy: Please?
Mae: No, my mouth is closed tonight.

After waking from a nap in which the first snow of the year fell….
Mommy: I have a surprise for you. Go look out the window.
Mae: OOOOHHHHH!!!!! Its CHRISTMAS.
Mommy: (sorry sweets…not quite)

Standing at the window watching Eddie pull up to the house with a deer in the back of the truck.
Mae: Mommy! Look! Deer.
Mommy: Yes. Daddy killed at deer this morning and he is bringing it home.
Mae: Thank you Daddy. I LOVE IT!

After going outside to see and touch the deer that Eddie killed this weekend.
Mae: MOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYY! (holding out her hand that had a hint of deer blood on it)
Mommy: Yes?
Mae: Look. I died.

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Talking with Mae

While riding on Papa shoulders up the cattle lane.
Mae: (pulls papa’s hat down over his eyes)
Papa: Hey! I can’t see.
Mae: Sorry dude.

Mommy: Mae, would you like some pomegranate?
Mae: Yes.
Mommy: Is it yummy?
Mae: No. Special.

Mommy: How is your pudding?
Mae: It likes my stomach.

Attempting to explain the logistics of trick-or-treating.
Mommy: We will go to the neighbors and they will give you candy.
Mae:
Mommy: Do you understand what we are going to do?
Mae: We go get a lot of sugars.
Mommy: Yes, we do. I should have just said that.

Since Mae was an infant, I would ask her about her day when I got home from work.
Mommy: Mae, how as your day? What did you do today? Tell me all about it.
Infant Mae:
Now she beats me to the punch.
Mommy: Hi sweets!
Toddler Mae: Lets talk about it.

The new bedtime routine includes a second trip back to the potty after lights out. After we are done…..
Mommy: Night Mae. Love you. See you in the morning!
Mae: Alligator.

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Talking with Mae

While in the bathtub before bed…..
Mae: toots (super loud) in the tub.
Mommy: Mae, did you poop in the bathtub?
Mae:
Mommy: Mae, is there poopy in the tub?
Mae: I hear thunder.

Climbs up on the couch with newspaper in hand.
Mae: I need my glasses.

Eddie turns off the tv.
Mae: Oh, shit.
Mommy: No, Mae. That is a bad word. Try saying, “Oh, bummer”.
Mae: NO MOMMY! Bummer is bad word.

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out of the mouth of babes

The other night we were having a rather loud “discussion” about the need to call a plumber for our septic system that seems to have acquired a bad attitude lately.

For the record, holding the handle on the commode just right, DOES NOT FIX THE PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway….about 5 minutes into the “discussion”, Mae apparently decided that she had enough.

She walked right up to me, put her finger in my face and said, “Calm down buddies!”  And then she was off across the room to do the same to Daddy……

“Calm down buddies. Calm down buddies.  Calm down buddies.”

That just slays me.  I don’t have a clue where she picked up on that phrase but I can’t think of a better way to diffuse a situation and bring on the giggles.

Way to go, Mae!

Mommy and Daddy got the message and we love you very much.

It will happen again, but I know now that you will keep us on our toes!

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Mae is all about dressing herself. Here she is modeling her swimsuit inside out!

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