how much is just enough?

How much is just enough?

Ever notice how fascinated we are about getting size just so….clothes, cars, people, houses….. We have a love affair with getting it just right. Not too much or not enough…..

What happens if we come up a little short anyway???  Is it the idea of being in need or a small inconvenience or hardship that makes us squirm?

I get it, I really do…..I have the need to tweak, and reshape every faucet of my life to make it fit just right.

I am paralyzed with fear that I will plan, build and move into a home with too much or too little space.  The obvious solution is to build it a little larger just in case…

In case of what???? That I don’t know.

A bit much is too much for my wallet and for my imaginary cleaning fairy that I will have to hire one day when I am rolling in money….. How many tomatoes to you think I need to sell to meet THAT goal?

So again we are back to the getting it just right….How will I know?????

Too skinny, too fat, too tall, too short.

I guess we are all a little bit too much or too little of something.

 

 

 

Treat!

Mae got right to the point during trick-or-treating. She held out that plastic pumpkin and said , “Treat!”.

No tricks here….just give me that sugar.

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Little Minnie Mouse was so bundled up for the blast of arctic air we got that about the only thing you could see were her little ears sticking up out of her coat.   We had a blast anyway!

 

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Here is a shot of Mae and Daddy’s first pumpkin carving experience.  Mae used her crayons and her butter knife to help Daddy do the carving.

 

Happy Chilly Halloween!

 

running 100 years late

I have always felt like I was born in the wrong century.  Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of modern conveniences that I adore but I have romanticized life before all of this.

A life of homesteading and homemaking.

A life of simple living.

A life of simple joys.

A life of tight-knit families and community.

A life of hard hard work and no idle hands.

Do you ever wonder about the simplicity of it all?

 

maybe we are merchants after all

We did it.

We started those plants from seed last winter.

We planted those tiny plants in April and prayed that at least one would survive.

We pruned and trellised and then trellised some more.

We harvested our first ripe tomatoes and cucumbers.

We journeyed to our first farmers market this weekend and sold it all………………………………….

the only ripe tomatoes for sale were very popular

the only tomatoes at the market and they sold out in thirty minutes

mae's first of many farmer's markets

Mae’s first of many farmers markets

What a sigh of relief.  This has been such a great experience.  Growing the produce is only the first hurtle and I am ecstatic that we cleared the next hurdle and made it to market!!!!!!!!

Let’s talk land

What is land worth to you?

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Me?
Your neighbor?
The tax assessor?
The bank?

Land value seems like a floating mystical cloud of foggy comparables and appraisal hogwash.

The point I am after is this…..
Nothing is more valuable in my eyes than the land you already own. That is until the neighbors farm goes up for sale. When land is for sale that adjoins you, suddenly all sense of financial logic goes out the window.

Desperation takes over.

Thoughts like this run wild in my head…
This is my only chance. It will never be for sale again in my lifetime.
What if the seller decides to sell it off in small parcels?
What if those small parcels turn into a glorified subdivision?
What if I don’t try to buy it? Will I regret it?
Holy crap! They want a lot of money for it…..
I want it. I want it. I want it.
Is is sane to even think about more land debt?
Will the banker laugh at me when I ask him about purchasing it?

We are in land apprasial, debt consideration, and trying to not make a decision based on the fear of the unknown, limbo around here.  Time will tell.

I don’t know the answer to most of these questions I have posed but I do know that to a farmer, land is priceless.

Please don’t tell our neighbor…….

Daydreams

I am putting the work down and walking away.  Need a break and need to post. 

I read this post this morning and it really got me thinking.

So what is on my daydream list these days…….

  • A quiet morning with cup of hot chocolate, my robe and a good book.  No tip-toeing around those pesky, creaky boards in the house while holding my breath as to not wake the baby.  No stress to get up, beg the baby to eat breakfast and rush for the door.  Just a morning when Daddy and baby go out and about for a few hours.  Preferably a cold and rainy day but through the magic of dreams the furnace would be magically stoked and ready to go.  
  •  An actually date.  Not sure what that even is these days.  Haven’t been on one in multiple years.  Maybe a day away to wander the flea markets and go out to eat.  Somewhere close as I am tired of putting in the hours in the car.
  •  A small shopping trip with no guilt.  A few new clothes to fit this post pregnancy bod that doesn’t seem to want to go back where it started. 
  • I dream of time to post.  The ability to stay awake past nine would greatly help but since my laptop and the tv fight over bandwidth, I usually lose out to the Netflix and go to bed.
  • Days home with Mae Mae to play.  Not to do housework but to just play.  I feel so guilty when I am rushing to put in another load of laundry while convincing Mae Mae that sweeping the floor is a fun new game.
  • A girls night of too much beer and lots of laughs.
  • An acne free day, or month or year.   I will take anything I can get at this point. 
  • A brand new bag to covet.  Like this on Etsy that I have been admiring for so long. I am thinking English Saddle or Vintage Cognac…….
  • A trip.  Anywhere.  If money was no object and traveling with a toddler was a breeze I would be already be on the road.  It may sound corny but I want to do the classic midwest road trip.  Yellowstone, Colorado, Wyoming…..that sort of thing.
  • A day to spend on the farm without the mommy guilt and housewife guilt.  To be able to just let it lay and go accomplish something on my farm wish list.
  • I want to have the guts to throw out/donate most of the toys in the house and pare down to a few treasured items.
  • I dream of money and time to buy fabric to make some killer blackout curtains for Mae Mae’s room.
  • I literally dream of floor plans and construction materials nightly.  My daydream is to finally be able to move forward on that dream. 
  • I want to have the hutzpah to tell my extended family and friends about my blogging undertaking.
  • I dream of submitting a few articles to a few of my favorite blogs.  Time, energy and guts are running a little short around here.
  • Homemade guacamole, blue tortilla chips from Trader Joe’s and a Boulevard Wheat beer
  • I want the courage and freedom to not fuss or worry about how a post might sound… I just want to dump the thoughts on the screen and go.

 Well on that note.  I think I will give the last one a go.  Here goes nothing.

Weekend Roundup Vol 8

Farm tour was a bit hit. The rain stopped just in time for the walking tour.

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We had a turn out of about sixty despite the crummy weather…….

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Mae Mae had the star seat front and center.

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A good time was had by all.

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Weekend Roundup Vol 6

No-till drilling clover seed this weekend.

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We seeded about 20 acres of ladino clover. It is a very tiny seed.  Here is a shot of the inside of the seedbox.

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Replaced a stretch of old barb wire with a two strand electric fence.  These are self insulating wood composite line posts.

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Finally got those big floor pillows recovered. Time to give the sewing machine a breathier.

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Cool overnight temps had us breaking out the winter pjs.  Here is a shot of Mae and I hanging out on the porch after breakfast enjoying the cool morning and enjoying her new RED ball!

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No need for fancy toys for this kid.  Just need an old box!

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I want to say yes…..

Are you a “Yes” person? Or a “No” person? I am talking about your gut reaction to any proposal, plan, or request….Does your body say “No” first?

I am afraid mine does. Straight as an arrow, type A here and when presented with something new, I hesitate…I want to research, mull over and determine if that is really the best approach. When I don’t have what I view as enough of the facts, my brakes go on. It isn’t that I can’t make a decision, it is that I want all the information available before doing so.

I am a researcher…..Yes, almost all purchases go through the rigorous review process; online review, price comparison, and peer review. The process of picking out our TV took a month and our mattress took six months. Making social plans….I have to ask, “What else needs to be done? Can we afford to be away? What else will suffer?”

Yes, it could be argued that this sounds like the voice of maturity or responsibility but I long to turn that voice off sometimes. I want to be a “Yes” person. Instead of this:

“Do I want to go for ice cream?”
“Yes, but we haven’t eaten dinner. It will be way too much sugar. We should just stay home and eat something healthier.”

Responsible? Yes. Boring? Yes

I know that there are plenty of people in this world that can make a decision based on simple desire. And, there are days when I am envious of that…..My deep rooted fear of doing anything half-assed can get in the way. I have to tell myself that sometimes it doesn’t have to be the best quality, or the over the top experience. Sometimes it just needs to be…..

The irony in all of this is that I can make any emotional decision in a snap. I can trust my gut and run with it as I almost always do. No hesitation there at all. How does one take some of that free-form thinking and roll it over into the other parts of life?

I don’t want my knee jerk reaction of “No” to keep Mae Mae from experiencing everything this world has to offer. My fear is that I won’t be able to expose Mae to all the spontaneity and fun that childhood should have. My husband is destined to the “fun parent” out of the two of us.. There is no question that he is the freespirt and I am the nerd.  That being said, I need to focus on meeting him somewhere in the middle for Mae Mae’s sake.   

Folks can say “Lighten up!” all they want…..but how does someone actually do that?

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