today can be the day

Not sure why today is the day that I missed the blog and found myself back here but……

This little blog is ready for an update and a re-launch.  It was starting to feel a little stale and forced and not really with any direction.

So after a spring of fresh air it is time to air out this blog and start new….

Stay tuned.

 

 

 

blog envy

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Do you have it?

It’s contagious, isn’t it?

Is it possible to aspire to bigger and better blogging things without looking over the fence?

Sometimes the grass is greener over there.  I don’t care what they say.

How is it even humanly possible to have 229,999 followers?  Yep, I added my name to list….230,000 and counting.

Man, is it ever intimidating.

It isn’t about the numbers.  Really.  It isn’t.

It is about quietly writing, hunched over my keyboard, and click clacking away to the tiny roar of my space heater.

It is about listening.

Listening to my voice.

Hushing all the outside din…….

Bravely hitting the publish button and not looking back.

I don’t envy the numbers or the big scale of things.  That is not what I aspire to.

But, I do envy those souls that have learned to hear their voices…….. even at a whisper.

That is what makes a honest blog……

 

 

 

changes around here

So..it has been 9 months since I started blogging.  Each day, each picture, each post and I think I get a little better feel for where I want this blog to go….

With that in mind, I finally got a few changes made.  No, they aren’t earth shattering changes but I love them anyway.  A little closer to a layout that compliments my content better.

 

Look around.

 

Stay awhile.

 

Tell me what you think.

 

Come back some more.

Do tell?

So…when you start a blog, there are so many things to consider. The initial setup brings up some many unanticipated decisions to make. Word press or blogger? What theme do I choose? What the heck is a widget? What is the difference between a page and a post? How do I make this thing publish a post? Am I doing this right? Can anyone even see this thing but me?

But, the biggest question of all for me was, “Who do I tell about this blog?”.

I am a private person by nature and part of a very private and conservative family. Between my folks, my husband and I, you won’t find a Facebook page between us…..so why a blog, you ask? Well, I am not sure. But, I feel the need to do this and after a tiny bit of time to get my feet wet…. I am enjoying this and will continue to do it. I don’t care if ten strangers or ten thousands strangers read this but I go numb at the thought of my closest family and friends reading it. It is tough to be judged by the ones that know you best. It is also impossible to not be completely yourself when they are looking on. The best accountability you can get I suppose.

To me blogging feels a little like standing naked on side of the street. To pull those innermost thoughts, feelings, and worries out of the private world of your own head and put them down on paper sure does make them real. It solidifies those thoughts into something tangible that you can’t take back. Does that mean I worry about regrets? The only fear of regret I have is that I would somehow inadvertently hurt my family or friends with this blogging adventure.

All of these thoughts have been at the forefront all weekend, as I took the big scary step and included my folks in all of this. When the shock wears off, I hope that they are supportive……

I do wonder about other bloggers out there. Tell me, do you tell your family and friends?

Am I your type?

In this blogging world, friends connect over the tiniest of things from blog to blog and make life long connections. But in the end, why does it feel like we all end up in some sort of category?  Seems to me that we end up stuffed down in our respective boxes of mommy blogs, or lifestyle blogs, or design blogs, or religious blogs, or farm blogs….Why must I be any particular “type” of blog? Must we all have a name?

Perhaps it is because I am still struggling to find my blogging voice, but is seems to me that communities of bloggers seem to huddle up together around their common thread and the rest of the blogging world falls away. Not that I blame them. It would be the most comfortable approach to all of this. Find a nitch, a circle, or a family and hop in. But also feels a little damn restrictive and claustrophobic.

Some part of me wants to link up with everyone I already read, email my favorite bloggers and tell them to come on over. But to be honest, that just isn’t me. I am a bit of a hermit and normally very guarded with inner thoughts and worries……… Not the most social of social media avenues around here. I am petrified of the day I tell my family and friends about all of this.

I know that this line of thinking could be alienating to some and that is just going to have to be ok.

My approach to this blog has to be one that makes my heart sing.

When it comes down to it……I want to write about what inspires me. That is no different than anyone else, I suppose. I think these interests of mine cross many boundaries though and won’t really appeal to any one group of readers. So be it. This blog will have to wear many hats then…..

Since my goal is to write for myself and my family, I am pledging to myself to write exclusively about the things that inspire me in positive or negative ways…To write about the things that keep me up at night. The things I want to do with this one life we get. The person I want to be. The family I want to be and the life I want to lead….

Yes…I think that is it. This is the challenge to myself to write for me…and where I am headed.

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